We have one purpose here at The Man Onion - to educate the world on the exploits of our friend Jack, also referred to (almost exclusively by himself) as: JFXMMIII, Money, and Man Onion (or just Onion). Jack is straight out of Syracuse, NY and is fond of flat-brim hats pulled over one eye (T.I. style), shin-length jorts, beaters not worn as undershirts, and silver jewelry. Here's one of my personal favorite Onion quotes to kick it off:
"Dude I swear to God if I don't bring a broad home tonight I'm gonna cry myself to sleep and jerk off with the tears."
Good luck sleeping with that image in your head ladies.